Supermarket chain Sainsbury is renaming a local fish, the pollack, in an effort to boost sales. You see we Brits are extremely fond of a bit of cod, which up until recent years was cheap and plentiful from the North Sea. Now, however, some serial stupidity concerning fishing methods and quotas, courtesy of the EU, has seen cod stocks plummetting to the point where they may never recover. We need to eat something else, and quickly.
Pollack, however, is not a name that encourages the zombie shopper. Sainsbury's research has shown that shoppers find the name embarrassing, apparently, although no-one seems to know exactly why (apparently researchers actually know less about embarrassment than they do about humour). Perhaps it's the rhyming resemblance to 'bollocks' (a wonderful old anglo-saxon word used interchangably for testicles and nonsense), or to a great raft of words including 'pilchard' and 'prannet' which are all used to indicate idiocy.
So. What do Sainsbury use to replace this embarrassing word?
Colin.
Except you're supposed to pronounce it the French way, as in Coe-lan.
Ri-i-ight. Like, that'll help. Written on the box, it says Colin. As in rhyming with pollen. And it's even more embarrassing. Why not just call it 'Shirley' and be done with it?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
A Load of Old Pollacks
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11 comments:
Ahh the weirdness of the British public. Wont buy a Pilchard for love nor money but call it a Cornish Sardine and you can't dredge enough up.
The rename brings up so many new menu opportunities:
Beer Battered Colin (Friday nights only!)
Colin fingers...
Colin pea's gravy!
Oh the endless joy of it.
A Fish Called Colin...
Oh I can really see people asking for that without feeling stupid!
Hi Hedgie,
I just wondered if you'd seen this?
http://www.siliconrepublic.com/news/article/12735/randd/the-age-of-the-electric-car
Marvo: There's nothing new in there, though, apart from the larger batteries. This isn't, of course, a new energy production method; it just shifts production from the engine to the power plant, at the cost of transferral losses in sending the power through the National Grid. Then there are further losses in the battery itself. Oh, don't get me started... this would be great if it were running from microgenerated power, but no home setting can produce that much juice.
And to American ears, that sounds like Colon... Not terribly appetizing.
On the whole, I'd rather eat Pollack.
Ah ok - thought it might enthuse you - obviously not! Sorry!
You really should check more on electric cars.
http://www.kiwiev.com/
Of course the energy has to be produced somewhere but it can be done using sustainable energy.
And yes you can load it from a normal domestic electric outlet.
Dont get me wrong, I think your blog is the bees knees. My keyboard has had its share of coffee and tea.
Any news on the cat & fish pond conundrum?
-J of Finland
Funny ;)
The fish shops here like to use different names for fish to convince you to buy them - lemon fish sounds appetizing after all, but it's actually really bland tasting shark fillets.
A genuine laugh-out-loud moment, that: Shirley the fish. :)
My stepdaughter bought some fish because it was cheap. I looked it up on Google and Yuck!!!
http://www.dietmindspirit.org/2008/01/30/why-you-shouldnt-eat-this-fish-pangas-pangasius-vietnamese-river-cobbler-white-catfish-gray-sole/
Coe-lan has too may associations with a certain body organ, so I will continue with the pollack thank you.
I remember that story! The french farmers released a lot of bogus information and a TV company sensationalised it and spliced together some footage from an animal welfare investigation into a couple of dodgy farms; most of the claims in the article are broadly false. Totally unsustainable though, you're quite right there!
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